-Another take on girl power, but from a more serious point of view. This personal experience written by someone very brave for sharing is an important one to read. Remember, this can happen to absolutely anyone… lets not leave our sisters in the dirt.-
Why weren’t we told when we were five years old, how hard it is to be a women in a man’s world? Why do we compare ourselves to other women and become hateful and jealous and resentful of the people who are suffering like us under the pressure of being “desirable” and respected in this misogynistic society? I don’t know the answers to these questions. All I know is that girls need to support girls. We, women, our voices, which matter, are not being heard. We need to hold hands and not ask politely to be tolerated but yell to be respected and not sexualised and oppressed by the men who tease us but never please us. We want to be equal.
Six months ago I went to a club in Sydney with my friend. Minding my own business and having fun, another fellow girl I had never seen before walked up to me and started filming me dancing. I walked away thinking nothing else other than drunken antics. Later I went up to the bar surrounded by people I knew and this girl came up to me again and started laughing in my face. She began telling me I was a disgusting joke and that I should do everyone a favour and leave so they don’t have to see my disgusting face. She continued laughing and calling me a joke as I began to cry in disbelief. I was horrified and embarrassed and felt empty. Those words cut right through me and hurt my heart.
A few weeks later I went back to that club and had been offered a substance that I ended up taking. Thirty minutes later my heart slowed to an unusual pace and my bloodstream felt tingly and slow. My heart pounded while my pupils dilated larger with each pound. I was drugged.
I received a text from my ‘best friend’ at the time that she had left the club and told me to get home safe. Being abandoned at a club by yourself on drugs is possibly the scariest feeling in the world. I was lost and confused, so I went up to a guy I had met briefly before for comfort.
Suddenly I was outside and being taken to an upstairs room in the building next door to the club and he took my virginity. Afterwards he walked out and left me naked on the floor. I cried. But then got angry that, how dare that be my virginity.
I went outside and back into the club determined to make up for what I had lost.
I saw another guy I knew and with my consent we had sex on the condition that I wanted my virginity to be pleasurable for me – to make up for the first guy.
I came out of the building after with girls yelling at me calling me disgusting, a joke, worthless and disrespectful. I cried because I didn’t know what I was doing under the influence of this foreign substance, and thankfully a nice guy saw I needed help and got me home safe (we still keep in contact today).
The morning after I felt absolutely wrecked – the lowest I had ever felt in my entire life. I was no longer a ‘virgin’. I had had sex with two guys in one night at a club on drugs and everyone knew. I didn’t go out for a while; I deleted my instagram and became depressed. Girls hated me and thought I was a slut and boys just thought I was easy.
Reflecting on this, I look back and think what I would have done if I saw a girl in my position. If another girl walked out of that room after having sex with two different guys, I would have asked her if she was okay.
The fact is, it’s a man’s world and boys will be boys – they will be disrespectful. They will sit at the table above us and expect us women to look up at them. They are the animalistic creatures of Mother Nature that see no harm in fucking women – that can fuck two girls in one night and not be seen as a slut. Not be seen by his peers as disrespectful or a joke. He will not be questioned.
And us Women have to deal with this inequality that has been accepted by society.
So why ladies, why would we make it harder for ourselves by going against our own sex and further encouraging this stigma? By going out of our way to tear our sisters down? After all we have been through with men, why are we further enhancing this fucked up societal construct by making fun of each other and ultimately encouraging sexist acts?
I will never understand a woman who calls another women a slut.
The fact is, women will never understand the mind of a man because we aren’t in it. But WE ARE WOMEN and we know what it is to be a woman. So why have we not banded together and started a full force of girl power that encourages our sexuality and promotes EQUALITY AND LOVE?
Why do we call eachother sluts and disgusting?
If we don’t agree with another women’s morals let’s not explicitly let them know in a ridiculing manner. It’s not worth it – It’s ultimately not our place to say anything. We need to look out for each other and encourage each other to make decisions based on our own beliefs and BODIES.
If you see a man sexualising the female body or treating your sister inappropriately, lets not stand by and blame our girls because maybe she’s ‘just a slut’ or ‘disrespectful’, let’s look out for her and stand up for her!
Some women find sex EMPOWERING; others want to wait until marriage – either way – YOUR BODY, YOUR CHOICE. And I think its time we bond together and let our SISTERS feel EMPOWERED through their own choices! Let the sex between our legs bring us together, not be an excuse to ridicule each other’s sexuality.
We should encourage each other to do what makes us happy with our femineity and love each other for those choices whether it’s the choice we would make or not! We are sisters, we are friends, we are stars, and we are EQUALS. I love all my sisters; I even love those girls who called me disgusting and a joke. Love is powerful.
To all my girls; you are beautiful as you are powerful. You are women.
– Riss Benson